This Dead Dog

This dead dog surprised everyone by winning the primary. People liked it because it seemed relatable, and for its transparency. It was just a dead dog, nothing more, nothing less. People said, It’s the kind of dead dog that I might find and feel bad for. It’s not too gross, either, which means it has nothing to prove. The incumbent tried to make things about issues. He said, This dead dog knows nothing about foreign policy, has no military experience, and is covered with maggots. But it didn’t matter. Unlike the incumbent, the dead dog hadn’t yet broken anyone’s heart.