A LIST OF ALL THE PLACES WE NEVER MADE LOVE

Your bedroom. Your car. Under the bleachers at a little league game. In your husband’s office. Between two green dumpsters behind a Burger King. My bedroom. In my kitchen, while my wife was taking a call in the other room. In your guestroom, while our kids had a play-date downstairs. The public restroom at the Gun Show, while people stood around outside the stall door, listening. At your husband’s funeral. In the hallway of the courthouse, before my arraignment. We never made love in any of those places, but to be fair, in a lot of those places we fucked.